Changes Continue

I have been experiencing some interesting things lately. I am not sure if I should be writing this here, however, since I find myself here at this time, I think this is the place to write. Unusually enough, the keyboard (the Internet) makes it easier to communicate from Alpha. I believe this is due to my belief that the sound of my voice sometimes interferes. An experience I hope to change soon.

I can remember as a very small child having thoughts that I could not express in words. I was about 9 months old and I was listening to my mother speaking to me as if I were an adult. It was much like you would be thinking out loud. I could understand her words and I felt some point of reference from the previous life I had led. {If I were writing this in any other forum, I'm certain my straight jacket would be arriving soon.} Now....looking back, I understand so much.

I have only recently begun reading Seth Speaks by Jane Roberts. I have only just started chapter two and I am feeling really uncomfortable. Not because of the subject matter or where it is coming from, but because I have had similar experiences and direction, only I really thought it was some mental defect. It doesn't help that my mother said things to question my sanity and even implied that I was somehow mentally impaired. I realized as an adult that all of those comments were always in response to my telling her of the abuse I was experiencing. Her response was "You live in a fantasy world. That did not happen!" Well, here I am 50 years later, she having ceased to vibrate at this level 14 years ago, and I am reading things I already knew! I am sooo uncomfortable with this! My ego is jumping up and down screaming "You fool, you fool, and they will certainly lock you up for sure now"! At this point, I don't really care what others think. Jane Roberts, Esther Hicks and a host of others I have yet to run across had the balls to tell their stories! The truth as they have come to know it. Here is my dilemma.......mine is so similar to others. There is the ego yelling "Yes, and everyone will think you read their stuff and created your own"! So THAT'S where I am. Do I read more of Seth Speaks or do I write of my own experiences without reading more. What does silence do? What if I had never found or read Jane's book and wrote about my experiences (especially the ones I am having now)? Wait a minute, the experiences I am having now were brought on as a direct result of the small amount of Seth material I have already read! No, I'm not talking about the similarities in what has been said, I am talking about the thin....extremely thin veil I am experiencing between me and a truth few people know and even fewer see. What do I do with this information? What do I do...if anything? Should I pull back, deny and move on? If I continue on, this veil WILL be lifted and then it becomes my responsibility to show (teach) others how to do it too.....if it can be taught at all. Of course it can be taught, if one is willing to take the steps to remove the barriers. That takes discipline and a willingness to render the ego docile. Too big a task? Only for those who put more belief in what they see, than the knowledge that lies within the heart. Here I stand at a crossroads. I have always chosen the other direction in past lives, that's why I am here again now.

The chaos and destruction which is coming to pass over the next several years will sort it all out, of this I am certain.

I am also certain there are others out there going through the same thing I am. I believe we will all be brought together soon in a place where we can comfort and heal the Mother and in so doing ease the others who seek us. Perhaps I have found my answer after all.